Post-divorce communication should be all about that

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A new study has found that the best solution for co-parenting is to only have communication about the kids or the parenting. Co-parenting can be difficult, but most couples agree that it has to work for the sake of the children, and they do their best to make sure it’s as peaceful as possible.


However, it can still be difficult for many couples, and while they know they need to work on their communication, they don’t know where to start. They can turn to studies and experts for advice on how to make sure they’re parenting together, apart, in the best possible way.

According to MedicalXpress, new research shows that healthy communication after divorce should only be about children and parenthood, and nothing else. This study was carried out by West Virginia Universityand it can be read in full here.

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The lead authors are Jonathon Beckmeyer and Jessica Troila, and they said there can be “too much” communication between two divorced parents.. They found it through a study of 708 divorced parents of children under 18.

They found that too much “innocuous” talk between divorced co-parents can put their children’s well-being at risk. They say couples should limit all communications to shared parenting issues. This means not talking about current love lives, personal issues that don’t involve children, or the latest politics.

They agreed that communication is important for co-parenting, for obvious reasons, but there can be too much of it and it can be too often. What they call “overshares” can be harmful to people who are still adjusting to who they are outside of the couple, or they might use this communication to create control and conflict, and that’s why it’s always best avoided all together.

What they found was that children who exhibited behaviors like fighting, lying, cheating, feeling sad, or being scared all had children whose parents communicated too much with each other about things that weren’t not related to parenthood.

Children who had co-parents who kept the parenting conversation going only fared better on behavior and emotions. The topic of divorce is complex, and studies like this are just the beginning when it comes to understanding what is truly best for children of divorced parents.

Sources: Medical Xpress, SAGE journals

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