Dear Harriette: I went out for dinner with a couple that my husband and I love very much. We got dressed, which was a lot of fun. But my friend wore heels so high that she could barely walk. It was a lovely evening, and we wanted to walk around a bit, but honestly, she could hardly take 10 steps without complaining. Don’t get me wrong, I love fashion and it’s so much fun to dress up, but it just seems silly to me to wear shoes that you can’t walk in at all. I didn’t do it when I was a teenager, and I’m sure not going to start doing it now.
We were ultimately unable to walk. Our date night ended quite abruptly because all my friend could do was stand around the corner while her husband went to get the car. Worst of all, she didn’t think there was anything wrong with not being able to walk. I thought it was ridiculous. I guess she could see the expression on my face, as she rolled her eyes and didn’t speak to me again. What do I even do with this? Should I call her? I didn’t mean to hurt her, but it was all just absurd. – Too high
Expensive too high: leave this one alone. Your friend realized that she had put herself in a difficult situation. She doesn’t need you to remind her. I also love fashion, but looks like this woman has gone a bit far. One solution for anyone who really wants to wear that fancy heel on a date night is to bring a pair of flats. This way you can still walk around freely if necessary.
Dear Harriette: Recently my husband and I spent time with two other couples. Unfortunately, we have realized that we cannot afford to stay with them. They are big rolls. They drive luxury sports cars, drink expensive champagne, and go out regularly on extremely expensive dates. We went out with them once, and they footed the bill, so I didn’t even think about how much it cost. Last weekend we went out and agreed to split the bill. Our share was almost $ 1,000. We don’t have it like that at all. How can we stay friends with these people if we can’t afford to spend time with them? – Too rich
Expensive Too Rich: You can deal with this in two ways. You can stop going out with them and invite them to do things around the house instead, where you can manage the expenses. You can invite them to dinner occasionally. You can also be frank with them. Let them know how much you value their company, but you can’t afford to be like them. Agree that you will see each other from time to time. You don’t have to feel bad about not being able to afford the extravagances that are part of their daily life.
Harriette Cole is the founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams.